Levi Lusko - Fresh Life Church
Off The Hook
Word for the week : similarly
Matthew 18:21-35
May our relationships matter too much to be disrupted by our pride.
Your apology needs : Regret - Responsibility - Remedy
How to be apologized to...
Peter (Jesus' #1 disciple - even though he made tons of mistakes)
On what basis do you decide to let people off the hook?
Peter asked Jesus how often must you forgive, up to 7 times?
*The sincerity can be tested through your willingness to fight to change!*
If Saul keeps throwing the spear, is there a point I stop forgiving him?
Peter thought he was being gracious. The law said three strikes and you're out. So Peter thought by doubling the law and adding another he was being gracious...7 times?
Jesus said 70x7! Jesus did not mean 490 times, he meant, forgiveness should be endless...
Less math, more love!
Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs.
Jesus told a parable to show this 70x7.
We are supposed to approach others similarly as to how Jesus approaches us when we ask Him to forgive us.
Forgiveness flows from the cross.
Your forgiveness is not about you, it's about Jesus!
Colossians 2:14 God wiped out our debts.
If you've been freely forgiven, then you ought to freely forgive.
Develop the ability to win and lose well. Win and lose with a gracious spirit.
Apologize properly, and be apologized to properly.
1. You're never more like God than when you forgive.
#1 goal should be : be a better little Christ
God is a forgiver - Psalm 103:8
When we are forgiving, slow to anger, abounding in mercy there is glory in that!
Proverbs 19:11
We have been given the responsibility to reflect and respond and give God the glory.
2. Don't hold out for a perfect apology.
Knowledge is power and we must not hold people to the standard we hold ourselves to.
Don't be quick to judge others apologies.
Call yourself out on your own failures.
Give more grace to others than you do for yourself.
There is room to meekly say why don't we hold on a couple days.
Don't put a bandaid on a bullet wound...
Make sure your tone and body language are humble.
Humility is attractive, pride is repulsive, and a little grace goes a long way.
Before you completely write them off with all of their but, but, but... can you find small things to encourage...at least they are here and apologizing. It may not be perfect, but they are allowing a little vulnerability.
3. Don't keep them dangling.
If you're going to let them off the hook, let them off the hook.
When you tell someone "will you forgive me?" you are giving them power over you.
QUIT SAYING THESE THINGS IN RESPONSE:
a. don't worry about it. b. it's okay. c. oh that was nothing. d. didn't hurt my feelings at all. e. you don't need to apologize for that. f. forget about it.
Don't sweep it under the rug.
Don't dismiss their feelings as invalid.
SAY THIS instead : "I accept your apology." and "I forgive you."
That does NOT terminate consequences.
4. You don't have to accept apologies that aren't given.
Nobody can be forgiven against their will.
When Sorry Isn't Enough by Gary Chapman
You must ask forgiveness to be forgiven.
5. When you let go of grudges it releases God's grace.
Just because they haven't said 'I'm sorry' doesn't mean you have to let it become a root of bitterness.
Don't foster resentment.
You can be willing to extend forgiveness to someone who hasn't given an apology.
To love the unlovable, or those who have harmed you is to be Christ-like.
You don't have to develop a wounded spirit or a victim mentality.
You don't have to be defined by what has been done to you.
Your identity isn't from your pain, it's from God's pleasure.
You can be free, free indeed, in Jesus Name!
6. If you are stingy with forgiveness it hurts you in the end.
The man who didn't forgive was tortured/tormented.
A spirit of generosity & graciousness can help you.
Look to the cross!
"Forgive us our debts, God, as (similarly/like) we forgive our debtors."
God casts our sins to the depths of the ocean - as far as east is to west.
Don't keep lists of wrongdoings.
We can cut ourselves off from the benefit of salvation.
If you want grace, you have to give grace!
Come clean. Ownership. No more! Forgiveness. Ego. Straight-away. Similarly.
Confess!!
Confession isn't only meant to be toward God, but also to one-another.
So often we stop at confessing to God.
Healing takes place in our relationships if we're willing to confess our sins to the ones we've sinned against.
May by the grace of God can we find healing.
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